


Someone New

by WoodsGriffin



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artist-Music, Drugs, F/F, Football | Soccer, Parent Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-08-12 13:43:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7936897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoodsGriffin/pseuds/WoodsGriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both were achieving their dreams, one a professional soccer player and the other a successful musician. Both were completely in love. So what happens when Clarke ends the relationship leaving Lexa heartbroken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a song that is a part of the story, written by the wonderful artist Banks. Clarke will be the genius behind this song on my fic.

_"I'm so proud of you babe," Lexa says, laying down in bed while stroking her girlfriends arm._

_"I'm basically dropping out and you're proud of me, you and my dad are some weird people." The blonde tells her while smirking._

_"College is overrated anyways," she whispers in her ear, afterwards leaving light kisses on Clarke's neck, "Rockstars don't need to attend college, it's for the more ordinary folks like me."_

_"Says the part time professional athlete, part time UCLA student. Lexa Woods, let me tell you something, you are anything but ordinary." Clarke says as she gets up to straddle her girlfriend of 3 years. She reaches for Lexa's arms and pins them over the soccer player's head With one hand, as she leans down to kiss her girlfriends neck while her other hand trails the girl under hers body._

_"I would drop both of those in a heartbeat for a life time with you, I love you Clarke, mmhm I love you and that talented hand of yours." Lexa feels Clarke's hand near the waistband of her sweatpants._

_"We love you too," she tells her as she kisses and lets her hand explore inside her girlfriends sweatpants._

* * *

 

"Why are you reading those trashy magazines again," Octavia Blake asks, knowing full well who was in the cover of the gossip magazine in her teammates hands.

"Go back to your seat Blake," Lexa tells her, ignoring the younger player.

"Actually Anya asked me to switch with her, she's talking tactics with our keepers." Lexa looks to the front where Octavia usually sits with Rina Hunter, the goalkeeper and sees that she is indeed talking with Anya.

"So are you gonna tell me why you have a magazine with your ex in the front," Octavia presses once again, "You know they only print up fake articles so that they sell right."

"I know I'm not stupid you know, I don't even care what she does with her life, plus it's not like I can avoid her she's on every cover" Lexa lies while shooting Octavia a glare so she could stop talking.

"So you're not worried about her," Octavia asks coldly.

"I...she's, I just, look it's been over between us. I was curious to see who the man was," Lexa thrusts the magazine at the striker.

"So you just grabbed this to see who Clarke is fucking," Lexa winces hearing her ex's name, "I know you hate her, l know you think she fucked up but aren't you a little worried about her?" Octavia says leaving Lexa slightly confused. Clarke had won her second and third Grammy just under a year ago, her career was good and judging by the magazine, had even found herself someone to keep her bed warm.

"Why do you keep asking if I'm worried about her, what the fuck is going on with her Blake." Lexa commands, she can tell the younger Blake sibling knows something, which isn't surprising seeing as her brother and boyfriend are in Clarke's band, "Is she using again?" Lexa asks dreading the answer. Clarke had quit before they ended, she was clean.

"She's different, it's not my place to tell you tho," Octavia says as she puts on her Red Beats headphones that were resting around her neck and turns them on what sounds like full volume. Lexa resists the urge to rip the headphones off the younger girls ears and demand she tell her what it is she knows but she doesn't care, right?

 

* * *

 

_"Ugh do we really have to go to this game? Octavia says it doesn't even count, why are we going again?" Clarke asks while laying back on her bed and strumming her acoustic Martin guitar._

_"Because Griffin, we are her best friends and don't tell me you don't want to check out all the babes, cuz girl I went to one of Octavia's practices and fuck me." Raven says as she puts on Octavia's UCLA away jersey._

_Clarke can't help but roll her eyes at her best friend but reluctantly gets out of bed, puts her prized possession on its stand and looks for her Bruins hoodie and slips it on. She changes into her black skinny jeans, fixes herself up a little and follows a enthusiastic Raven out the door._

_  
"See I told you it would be fun." Raven says as both are jumping up and down cheering as Octavia had scored her first goal as a Bruin._

_"That was a beautiful pass," Clarke is staring at number 13 on UCLA. There was something special about the center midfielder and it wasn't just the captains armband around her upper arm, that was her second assist of the game in addition to her own two goals, and even as just a casual spectator of most of Octavia's games(including youth national team), she had never seen anyone play the game so effortlessly and in control. It was fascinating to watch._

_"That was an amazing pass, easiest goal Octavia will ever score," Raven agrees. Clarke doesn't catch Raven eyeing her as she keeps staring at number 13 while play resumes. Clarke is so into the game(or a certain player) that she doesn't notice when Bellamy, Lincoln and a friend of the boys join them. Lincoln introduces Anya to Raven and smiles when he see's them hit it off right away but decides not to interrupt Clarke and her eye focus on the game._

_"I've never seen her so into a soccer game before," Lincoln comments to Raven._

_"Oh I don't think she's into the game as much as she is into number 13." Raven informs Lincoln winking and throwing her friend under the bus but luckily for Raven, Clarke doesn't hear her. At that moment, Bellamy decides to make his presence known to his "princess" and the old friends hug and get into their own conversations._

_"Number 13 huh, can't blame her, us Woods are something else. That's my cousin Lexa." Anya says proudly._

_"Well both of you got the looks but hey at least one got the athletic talent." Raven teases._

_"Hmm maybe I should invite you to a USC game, you might see yours truly on the field." Anya says smirking at Raven. Lincoln just stays quiet, enjoying the banter._

_"Well fuck you weren't kidding. But hey I might take you up on that, let's see if you're as good as that cousin of yours."_

_"Oh I can definitely back up my talk, you'll see." Anya says smiling at Raven as she turns to face the field as the whistle blows signaling the end of the game._

_It takes a couple of minutes but Clarke finally notices that Linclon is also there and greets him and introduces herself to Anya. They are all talking enjoying the small talk when Bellamy suggest that they go to the snack bar and grab some hot chocolate since the weather felt kind of chilly. They are enjoying their drink when a sweaty Octavia Blake makes her presence known by jumping on her boyfriends back who must be used to it by now because he doesn't drop his drink. They are all congratulating Octavia when number 13 shows up._

_"Good game Blake, keep it up and you'll secure your starting position by the time season starts."_

_"Thanks Commander." Octavia answers happily obviously honored with the compliment from her captain._

_"Hey kid, no hat trick for you, damn what a bummer." Anya jokes as she gives her cousin a hug and then introduces her._

_Lexa first gets introduced to Raven and raises her eyebrow at Anya as she shakes Ravens hand. She can see that Raven would totally be Anya's type. Next she introduces her to Lincoln and Lexa reminds them that they had met before at Anya's party but both Anya and Lincoln had been drunk and didn't remember them meeting. She then turns and meets Bellamy and smiles cuz just like with Lincoln they had met before._

_"And finally this is Clarke,"_

_"She loooooves watching you play," Raven says throwing her friend under one more time but to a different Woods this time. Clarke can't help the blush that appears on her cheeks and makes a mental note to kill Raven Reyes later._

_"I, I well you had a good game, really stood out," Clarke defends herself nervously, there was no denying Lexa Woods was easy on the eye on the pitch but upon even closer observation, the center midfielder was simply put breathtaking. Clarke had assumed that Lexa had brown eyes like her cousin but now standing just a couple feet from where she was, she could see that they were a forest green color. How could someone look so good after playing 90 minutes of soccer?_

_"Thank you Clarke, maybe I'll see you at the next game," Lexa says not being able to contain the slight smile she throws the attractive blondes way. She wouldn't mind having this girl at every one of her games._

_"Thanks everyone, enjoy the rest of your night," Clarke thanks the people that were all standing from their tables to give the young college student a standing ovation after her performance._

_"Princess that was amazing," Bellamy says draping his arm around Clarke's neck as they're walking off the stage. Bellamy always has that type of reaction after any of their performance so Clarke does a slight eye roll as she leans her head into Bellamys chest._

_"He's right Clarke, that was pretty damn good," Lincoln agrees as well._

_"Thanks you guys, couldn't do it without you two," Clarke says honestly to her bass player and drummer. They go to their usual table where their friends usually hang at and Clarke finds herself surprised when she see's a certain soccer player also there. What was she doing here, on the day Clarke performs was the question Clarke currently found herself asking. Clarke was going thru any mistakes she could have made during the performance thru her head when Raven gives her a hug congratulating her._

_"Thanks Rae," Clarke then turns toward the table full of her friends._

_"Thanks for coming you guys," she then turns to see that her usual seat besides Raven is being taken up by Anya and Octavia had only saved Lincoln a spot, she notices the only seat available is the one next to Lexa, of course._

_"That was quite an extraordinary performance Clarke," Lexa says as Clarke takes the seat next to her._

_"Thanks, I'm surprised to see you here to be honest, guessing Anya forced you to come?" Clarke's can't imagine Lexa Woods actually wanting to come to watch Clarke perform._

_"Why would you think that? I was curious when Anya said she was going to go with Raven to watch you perform, was kind of expecting magic tricks or something. I'm pleasantly surprised." Lexa says with a half teasing smile on her face._

_"Geez really Lexa, I must have made such a huge first impression on you," Clarke says returning the smile. "Congrats on the goal last game, it was gr-, it was good, I went to watch Octavia play, I mean obviously and of course I noticed your goal because you know you were playing and uhm," Clarke feels Lexa's hand on her shoulder and felt instantly abashed at her word rambling, it had been a while since she had been so nervous she just started rambling and now Lexa had got her rambling every time she saw her. Lexa on the other hand found Clarke Griffin rambling to be rather endearing._

_"Word vomit, sorry," Clarke says not meeting Lexa's eyes. Lexa reaches and gives Clarke's hand a reassuring squeeze. They both feel the instant connection but Lexa being the stubborn person she is refuses to instantly pull back her hand like her body demanded. Clarke looks up and meets Lexa's eyes and feels a tingling sensation in her stomach. They're interrupted by Octavia who clearly hadn't noticed the moment they were having. She offers them both drinks and Lexa and Clarke joined their friends conversation._

_Lexa spent the rest of the night trying to get the chance to ask this girl she had only met twice(but already spent a lot of her time thinking about) out. She finally gets her chance toward the end of the night when everyone is getting ready to head back to campus._

_"Hey, so I was wondering if maybe tomorrow morning you would be available and would like to catch some coffee with me after practice?" Clarke was taken aback, Lexa Woods whom she had embarrassed herself in front of twice already wanted to go out on a coffee date with her. Of course Clarke agreed and the next day the two had their first of many dates._

 

* * *

 

"You can't possibly be serious! She just fainted, why the hell is she going back on stage, call the damn show off!" Bellamy was seething mad.

"It's not your call to make, she says she feels fine the crowd is waiting, the show must go on," Nia, the manager of Clarke and the band tells a not so happy Bellamy.

"I'm fine really," Clarke says coming from the room she was in with the medics, who had strongly advised against Clarke returning to finish the show. It showed in Clarke's face that she was in no condition to go back on stage, she was as pale as a sheet and the dark circles under her eyes were visible even with the foundation over them.

"3 more songs and we'll end it semi early ok," Nia says mostly to Bellamy who hadn't stopped glaring at her, Nia doesn't back down not even a little bit, "If you don't get yourself out on those drums in the next minute, I'll personally find the band another drummer."

"You don't scare me, if it wasn't for her I'd quit this instant then have to deal with your shit," he walks back toward the stage giving Nia's shoulder a good bump before stopping in front of Clarke.

"Princess you're in charge of your body not this icy queen of a manger you have here, just call it off. Me, Lincoln, your family, friends, even these fans who paid money! if they really love you will appreciate you taking care of yourself first." Bellamy wanted to add a name in there but thought better of it.

At the mention of her fans Clarke lifts her eyes from staring at the floor to Bellamy's. "Im doing this for them, I can't let them down. Just go I'll be right there." Bellamy sighs in defeat but walks on out to his drum set, there had to be a way to get thru to his friend before it was too late.

"Ontari told me to tell you that she has something you can use in her trailer, it's on the way to the stage if you want to check it out," Nia says as she gives Clarke's shoulder a little squeeze before wandering off.

Clarke knew what was waiting for her in that room and she hated herself for how "weak" she was that she couldn't resist, but it would help her get thru the rest of the show. She owed it to her fans to get thru the rest of the show, her dad would be so disappointed if he could see her right now she thinks wiping away that lonely tear..she would quit after this, that's what she told herself as she untied a shoelace and injected the drug into her system almost instantly feeling better. She would quit, she had too, before #13 fell in love with someone new....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a flashback from sophomore and junior year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will give I a edit later on for any mistakes but here's the 2nd chapter, still getting a hang of how to edit on this site

_"Why are you studying to be a doctor again? Feed me your BS again Dr. Griffin in training." Lexa says, she's currently laying her back against a tree and her girlfriend in between her legs who's reading a textbook._

_"Because its. my. chilhood. dream," Clarke pauses between each word as if in enunciating each word she is putting her point across more effectively._

_"And even saying it like that you can't convince yourself to believe it babe," Clarke turns around almost instantly startling Lexa a little._

_"I love it when you call me that," Clarke says as she leans in for a quick kiss ignoring the truth behind Lexa's words._

_"I do it all the time tho," Lexa says while reaching to fix Clarke's glasses that had slipped a little down the bridge of her nose. This was one of the reasons Lexa loved being with Clarke while the younger girl studied, the fact that Clarke could make wearing something as simple as glasses look so sexy._

_"I know, keep doing it," Clarke turns back to her textbook, she really needed to get this thru her head before the exam on Monday. Lexa smiles as she watches her girlfriend get back into deep concentration mode, she leans back against the tree again and relaxes a little. Coming to Echo Park after each UCLA home soccer game had sort of become a tradition for Clarke and Lexa so even tho the blonde had to study for her exam instead of cancelling she brought her textbooks with her. Lexa feels her cellphone vibrate against her pocket and takes out her phone to open the text._

_**-Papa Griffin** _

_**Lexa is that video really my daughter? Are you surrre you didn't go to the wrong place and record Taylor Swift but 100x better??-** _

_Lexa couldn't help but laugh at the text from Jake. Him and Abby had invited both Lexa and Clarke for dinner last night but had to turn them down because Clarke was going to perform. Her text to Jake had simply said - **sorry papa Griff, can't. That talented daughter of yours has a performance in a bit-** to which he had responded- **Video tomorrow please or it didn't happen-** well she had come thru with the video._

_"What's so funny?"_

_"Your dad,"_

_"Oh you actually sent him a video, What did he think?" Clarke asked nervously even tho she knew she had no reason to be nervous, it was her dad._

_"Here," Lexa says handing over her phone._

_"He compared me to Taylor Swift, what the fuck," Clarke had not expected her dad to like her performance._

_"Actually he said one hundred times better than Taylor, I quite frankly agree with him."_

_"You guys are crazy," Clarke says shaking her head at the comparison still._

_"We are what we are Clarke. We both have functioning ears and I for one would never lie to you."_

_"You're both biased but I love you both, I'm almost done so we can go to dinner with my parents,"_

_"I'd love that,"_

_"I know I can hear your stomach," Clarke says smirking._

 

_  
"Mmmm that was delicious Abby, thanks so much for the invite," Lexa says as she hands over the dirty plates. Lexa now knew better than to try and wash the dirty dishes after a Griffin dinner, the first time she had tried she had gotten her hand slapped away by Mrs. Griffin._

_"You don't need an invitation Lexa you're welcome to come by any time, but if you don't go over to the living room right now I think my husband might throw a fit," Abby nods towards where Jake is standing by the tv and Clarke is sitting in the couch, Clarke is tuning a guitar she had picked up in the living room stand and ignoring the game that she had no interest in watching unless Octavia or Lexa were playing. Jake on the other hand is motioning Lexa over to watch the soccer game._

_"El Classico, I missed the game because of my game. Who won?" Lexa asks as she walks over to stand next to Jake._

_"No clue kid, i had it recorded to watch after your game, which by the way congrats what a goal. But after had to run some work errands before getting home to watch, these classicos will never be the same,"_

_"Thanks Jake, I appreciate the support. The Classicos Because no more Messi or Ronaldo?"_

_"Always gotta support a fellow bruin and the in law," Jake says laughing before continuing about the Classico,"Exactly, two of the greatest to ever play the sport and people were too busy comparing them at the time instead of just respecting and admiring two totally different footballers that were great in their own ways." Lexa nods in agreement, her and Jake always got into discussion about the sport they both loved._

_"I love you both but I've had enough soccer to last me the day already," Clarke says as she gives her dad a one armed hug and a kiss on the cheek, while with the other hand she holds onto her guitar. She turns toward Lexa and puts her hand around the back of her girlfriends head and kisses her a little deeper than she usually would around her parents and she has the desired effect as her dad clears his throat and Lexa pulls back a little too frantically. Clarke smiles as she releases her grip on Lexa and gives her now blushing girlfriend a quick peck, it wasn't too often she got to make her confident girlfriend turn the color of a tomato._

* * *

_  
**Hey I'm at LAX I just got back. can I see you babe??** _

_She saw the three dots which indicated her girlfriend was typing back and smiled. She put her phone away as she grabbed her suitcase._

_"Hey kid, can I catch a ride with you?" Anya asks slightly jogging to catch up with Lexa._

_"Yeah want me to drop you off at your place?"_

_"Naw take me with you to your school, Ima meet up with Raven." Lexa nods, the two had been going on strong for the last year and a half. They had started their No strings attached the first couple of months but had eventually both developed feelings that they couldn't deny any longer and here they were, in the longest relationship Lexa had ever witnessed Anya have. She was happy for her, Raven was tough and not afraid to put Anya in her place, the perfect match._

_They both got in the car and Lexa drives off toward the campus. It had been a successful friendly match with the US women's national team, she hadn't scored but had managed 2 assists and the team had won 3-0 against Sweden which was always the most important thing._

_"How does it feel to be the youngest captain in the national teams history Commander?"_

_"I mean I'm only captain till Mal comes out of injury,"_

_"I heard Bri say that Mal is seriously considering retiring before the World Cup. It would suck to see her go but her knee has been bugging her the last couple of years and as much as Blake is a pain in the ass I think she could help the team if she was called up, granted I don't kill the kid first."_

_" Blake would help, she's been scoring left and right lately." Lexa says as she pulls into her parking spot at UCLA. She reaches for her phone as soon as she puts her car in park but frowns when she notices Clarke hadn't responded. That's weird, Clarke had been typing, why hadn't she sent her a response text by now._

_"Hey you good kid?" Anya says noticing her cousins frown as she reaches into Lexa's cars trunk for her stuff._

_"Yea, was just expecting a text but it's fine. I'll go with you, Clarke is probably with Raven." Anya nods figuring Lexa was probably right and the two head towards the room. when they get there they see Raven working on god knows what kind of experiment but absolutely no sign of the blonde._

_"Hot muffin you're back, you played soo good on tv" Raven says as she leaves her experiment to jump into Anya's arms and cover her in sloppy kisses, at least that's what it looks like to Lexa who has to turn away. She gives them five minutes before interrupting by clearing her throat._

_"Hey Raven, where's Clarke?"_

_"Hmm she left a couple hours ago, was going to her parents, I don't think she is coming back for the night."_

_Lexa nods, Clarke was most likely going to show her parents the CD she had been finalizing before sending it out to the record label. They had face timed yesterday while Clarke, Bellamy and Lincoln had been in the studio to do the finishing touches on what she already considered to be an immaculate record._

_"I'm going to go, try and get ahold of her." Lexa waves a goodbye at Anya and Raven and they return it._

_As soon as Lexa gets closer to her car she decides to give Clarke a call before heading towards the Griffin household._

_**Hey this is Clarke, I'm currently busy right now so if you leave your name or ouch Lexa stop, sorry your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Lexa you mess....**._

_She always listened to the whole voicemail in the rare occasion that Clarke didn't answer her phone, but she had been sent straight to voicemail on this occasion. Maybe Clarke's phone died while typing out her message, was the thought going thru Lexa's mind right now. But then why hadn't she just borrowed Abby's or Jake's phone charger or even their phones to send her a message. Maybe she fell asleep.. Lexa shakes her head, she was going to drive herself crazy with what ifs. She takes out her keys and puts her recently purchased BMW M5 to good use, she makes the 35 minute drive to Pasadena in 20._

_She's slightly wary when Jake opens the door and his face gives away that something wasn't right._

_"Hey Jake, I'm looking for Clarke. I tried calling her but she either ran out of battery or has her phone off."_

_"Come in Lexa, I, there's something we have to tell you." Jake says as he leads her toward the dining room table where Abby is already seated looking thru a heavy folder. She greets Abby who just like Jake has a torn expression on her face._

_"Clarke isn't with you?" Abby asks. Lexa shakes her head._

_"I just flew in less than an hour ago, I checked to see if she was staying with Raven since it's a school night and she has early classes but she wasn't there and Raven mentioned she had come here."_

_"She needs time Abby, let our daughter process the information,"_

_"Clarke wasn't supposed to find out like this."_

_"I know."_

_"What's wrong?" Lexa asks, ignoring the cold feeling in her stomach._

_"Clarke came over unexpectedly, we had just gotten the diagnostic. I wanted to read up on it more when we got home but I wasn't expecting Clarke, I should have put the medical folder away. I hadn't wanted her to open it." Abby says with tears in her eyes. Abby hands Lexa the medical folder which has the name Jake Griffin on the outside tab and Lexa slowly opens it._

_She knew where to find her, she wipes away the tears as she parks in the empty parking spot next to Clarke's car. She had to be the tough one here, for Clarke. It's all she thinks about as she rushes into her recently purchased studio and calls out for her girlfriend. The kitchen was empty but the drawer that kept the expensive drinks was left open._

_She went into their room and found it empty, no sign that the blonde had even entered the room. She checked the guest room next and found it empty as well and that's when it clicked that Clarke was in the studio room(that was still not 100% complete)._

_She reaches the door and pushes it open and see's a scene that pulls at her heartstrings. Clarke is sitting against the wall of the studio nursing a bottle tears rolling down her face, a shattered tequila bottle against the floor, her fender telecaster was snapped at the neck and against the opposite wall she noticed the reason behind the lack of answer in text or phone calls, her iPhone was completely shattered._

_"Babe?" Lexa says as she kneels down to be eye level with her girlfriend who is staring off, making no eye contact with Lexa. She notices the blood coming from the cuts on Clarke's right hand from the bottle._

_"I'm...I'm sorry, I'll clean I.." She never finishes her sentence as she wraps her arms tightly around Lexa's neck and breaks down. Lexa feels blood trickling down her neck and shudders as she picks Clarke up and carries her to the restroom sink, the blonde sobbing into her neck the entire time. Lexa places Clarke on the sink and reluctantly moves Clarke's hands away from her neck as she quickly reaches down and grabs the first aid kit they keep in the sinks cabinet. She cleans Clarke's wound silently, noticing all the deep crooked gashes the bottle had left on her girlfriends hand._

_"It's going to be ok, I promise," Lexa tells Clarke, not only about her hand and Clarke knows it because she shakes her head._

_"It's spreading fast," Clarke says as Lexa finishes wrapping up Clarke's hand._

_"You're mom will make sure he's ok, he will have the best doctors,"_

_"It's advanced cancer," Clarke says staring off._

_"It's going to be ok, I promise" Lexa says making a promise she can't keep while squeezing Clarke's thigh reassuringly as once more the blonde breaks down in Lexa's arms._

* * *

She had gotten off the national team bus first in a hurry and put on her hoodie as she walked to her car. She made a quick stop at the flower shop, picked up his favorite lilies that he used to grow in the backyard. It took her a good 30 minute drive and then she was standing in front of Jake Griffins tombstone. She placed his favorite flowers next to the other lilies and sat down.

"I miss you so much, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to take care of her but she's doing great from what I can see. And cuz I know you would ask, soccer is going great. Have camp pretty soon so I won't be able to visit as much but I'll promise to try," Lexa tells the tombstone of the man who had become almost a father figure to her in the years that they had known each other. She stays for another 20 minutes and doesn't notice the woman who was standing a few feet behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always any comments are appreciated thanks for reading


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey kid, where were you?" Anya asks from Lexa's sofa as Lexa walks in.

"Went to visit the cemetery, ran into Abby. She wanted to grab coffee and catch up." 

 "How was Abby?"

 "She seems...ok, I guess, as good as someone can be after what she's been thru." Lexa says, which was true, Abby had seemed down not her usual self but then again Lexa doubted the Abby before Jake's death would ever come back.  They had talked about Abby's work and Lexa's soccer matches, tv shows they were both watching, just casual things but Lexa made sure the conversation never strayed to Abby's daughter or husband. She had missed Abby; they had gotten close and she had only herself to blame for the distance she had put between them.  She feels her cellphone vibrate and smiles as she responds to the text Abby had sent her making sure she had gotten home safe. It was totally normal to stay in contact with your ex’s mom, right?

 

 

It was the day after the show in New York where Clarke had collapsed on stage and Bellamy and Lincoln currently found themselves in Clarke's suite at the luxurious hotel they were currently staying in before flying down to Miami for the next show.

"Why did you call my mom! She doesn't need my shit added to her life," Clarke was furious with Bellamy and even Lincoln who was standing behind Bellamy.

 "It shouldn't have been me who told her, it should have been you Clarke, she's your mother plus do you really think the Almighty Clarke Griffin collapsing on stage news wasn't gonna reach her." 

 "I would have told her it was nothing to worry about, don't either of you see how this is none of your fucking business," Clarke glares at both of her bandmates.  Clarke wasn't thinking straight; she couldn't see that her two friends had her best interest at heart.

 "It is, we care about you unlike that ice bitch and her stupid sidekick. Come on Clarke just talk to the label, get her fired, get yourself help," 

 "Clarke we care, I had Octavia calling me after the show worried about you, you won't answer either her or Ravens text messages or phone calls. You keep pushing people that care about you away," Lincoln says trying a more calming approach than Bellamy. 

 Clarke turns away avoiding looking at them, she felt guilty but she didn't want anyone to ask her questions, she wished they could just forget the incident and let her go on with the tour.

 "I need space." Is all she simply says as she walks to the balcony, hoping the boys would get that the conversation is over. It takes about 5 awkward minutes of silence but Lincoln and Bellamy do leave, all Clarke hears is the loud slam of the door and she cringes knowing how upset they both were with her, especially Bellamy.

 She sits down and lays out her legs over the railing of the balcony as she pulls out her iPhone and cigarette, to relax, as she looks up the highlights for the latest USWNT team friendly and smiles. Octavia had scored a brace, of course the player who assisted the goals didn't surprise her. Lexa Woods had a successful career, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she was the best soccer player in the world at 23. Clarke knew she had ruined their relationship when she broke it off, but it had been for Lexa, she did what was best for her.

 She is on her fifth USWNT article and second cigarette when the door to her suite opens and Clarke turns around expecting to find that Bellamy and Lincoln have returned but instead finds herself seeing her two best friends entering.

 "What are you guys doing here?" To say Clarke is surprised to see Raven and Octavia would be an understatement. Octavia is wearing her soccer clubs training attire and Raven is in her casual look so it doesn't take Clarke long to realize that her friends had grabbed a flight early morning after she hadn't answered any of their attempts to reach her.

 "Shut up," Raven says angrily as she runs up to Clarke and embraces her in a strong hug but not before taking her cigarette off her hand and stepping on it to put it out. They stay in that position for what feels like a couple minutes and Clarke can't stop the tears flowing down her face.

 "I'm sorry," 

 Raven separates herself from Clarke and wipes the tears off her friends face before wiping off her own.

 "You scared the fuck out of us," Raven says.

 "I know, I'm sorry."

 "No you're not tho, if you were sorry you would have quit when you said you were going to. C'mon Clarke do you not think I know what goes on in here, why the fuck is she still your manager and why is Ontari still in the band. Oh, wait, that's right, you can't possibly want to fire your suppliers," Octavia says coldly from where she is standing across the room staring Clarke down.

 "The record label assigned Nia as manager and Ontari is back up guitar. I can't fire them," Clarke replies weakly.

 "Clarke stop bullshitting us, you're not no up and coming artist who has no control over her career what so ever. For fucks sake, you have Grammys, you can pick who is in your band and who manages your career." Clarke doesn't answer Octavia, she can't. She avoids making eye contact with the younger girl.

 "After the tour, I'll think about it." 

 "No, why do you think we are here. I got two weeks off and we are going to help you get this shit sorted out." She looks up at Octavia. She's crazy, she had 2 club soccer matches in that time, she turns toward Raven, surely Raven wasn't that crazy.

 "Same here, family emergency, don't you dare say something stupid Clarke. This is fucking important plus we kind of promised your mother we'd keep an eye on you."

 

 

"Come over after practice, I don't want to be by myself today." Anya says to Lexa as she pulls her seat back and rests her feet comfortably on the dashboard of the BMW. If it were anybody else Lexa would have never allowed it but alas it was Anya.

"I'm not in the mood to hang out with you and Raven."

"Oh shut up, anyways she's not home so you can come over."

"Where did she go?" 

"She flew out with Octavia earlier this morning, uhm have you checked your phone by chance?" Anya asks hoping that Lexa had already been made aware of what had happened.

"No I just woke up not too long ago and was running late so I hurried to pick you up." 

“Griffin had a little incident last night,” Anya says while keeping her eyes on Lexa, she was going to find out eventually, might as well be the one to tell her. Lexa doesn’t say anything but Anya can see her jaw tense and her hands clench a little harder on the wheel. 

“She collapsed in the middle of her show last night,” Anya was expecting a reaction out of Lexa but not one where her own life gets put in danger because Lexa turns the wheel sharply before pulling to the side of the road causing Anya to smack her head on her window.

“What the actual fuck Lexa!”

“Why did no one tell me? Is she ok? Why was she even performing if she obviously wasn’t feeling good?” 

“Well geez let’s see, could be because you don’t even want us to mention her name around you.” Lexa shoots Anya a deadly glare before stepping out of her car to make a call. She dials Abby’s number and luckily doesn’t have to wait because Abby picks up on the second ring.

“Hello sweetheart, how are ...?”

“How is she?” Lexa says interrupting Abby midsentence. 

Abby can’t help the sigh she releases, “I talked to her briefly this morning, she says she is fine but I’m worried for my daughter Lexa. I can’t get any information from the medics that cleared her last night and I just called Nia and she won’t tell me anything just that she is fine now.”

Lexa can’t help but rub her temples in frustration at the mention of Clarke’s managers name.

“I’ll text you in a bit Abby, I’m going to call Lincoln.” They exchange goodbyes as Abby makes Lexa swear to keep her informed. She hangs up and Lexa starts scrolling thru her contacts looking for Lincoln’s number.

“Lexa we have to go, we are already running late. Give me your keys, I’ll drive,” Anya says as she steps out of the passenger seat and holds out her hand for the keys of Lexa’s prized possession. Lexa groans as she hands over the keys but quickly gets in the passenger seat and dials one of her closest friend’s number and luckily the call is picked up on the second ring.

“Lincoln, how is she?”

She hears him sigh before answering, “Nia wants to finish off the tour and Clarke won’t listen to anyone about calling it off. She shut me and Bellamy out this morning and gave us an earful because we called Abby.”

“What do you mean the tour is still going on? She just passed out on stage, Nia can’t be fucking serious right now. Is there going to a two-week break? What did the medics say was wrong?”

“They wouldn’t tell us anything, only Clarke and Nia talked to the medics.  Two-week break? We couldn’t even end the show early last night. No way in hell is there going to be a two-week break.” Lexa’s color was draining from her face; Nia had made Clarke continue performing after passing out? 

“Tell me it was just the band that finished up the show, no way in hell did she go back on stage! I’m going to kill Nia Queen!”

“Clarke won’t listen to reason Lexa, she’s in deep with Nia and what she supplies her with.”  

"I thought she quit, she had quit when we were together.”

Lincoln had no answer, even though he hadn’t agreed with keeping Clarke’s drug problems from Lexa. Anya, Octavia and Clarke had decided to keep the blonde’s ongoing problems away from the brunette so Clarke could break the relationship off cleanly and allow Lexa to focus on her career. Raven and Lincoln had found themselves convinced by their significant others to not mention anything to Lexa.

“When did she start using again? Lincoln, I need to know, please.” 

“Lexa, she never stopped using.” Lincoln says honestly. Lexa can’t believe what she is hearing. She feels her hand slightly trembling as she ends the call, needing a second to take in that information, she puts her head down and covers her face with her hands.  She had to keep it together, she had practice in a couple of minutes and she was captain of the team but soccer was the last thing she wanted to do now.

“Hey Lexa are you ok?” Anya says cautiously as she parks her car and reaches to rub Lexas arm.

“Why didn’t Lincoln tell me before, why didn’t anyone tell me.” She says angrily, not facing her cousin or removing her hands from her face.

“What are you talking about?” 

Lexa knocks Anya’s hand away from her arm, “Tell me you didn’t know that Clarke was using, that she had never stopped.”

Anya’s face pales as she realizes what Lincoln had told her cousin.

“Lexa listen, you were losing your spot on the national team, you were missing practices, you had just lost your captaincy for your club team, you were in danger of ruining your career.”

Lexa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. she gave Anya a look of disbelief and anger before grabbing her bag and slamming the door to her car, leaving her older cousin behind.

 

 

_“Drug test me, I'm clean. I don't know how that got in my suitcase.”_

_“Are you saying that isn't your suitcase, that you are possibly a dealer?” The officer asked.._

_Lexa grabbed at her hair in frustration, this interrogation was going nowhere.  They had finally released her from the handcuffs about 10 minutes ago. It's now been 30 minutes of the same questions being asked over and over again and Lexa just felt tired. At that moment the door opens and Indra and a  lady in a professional suit in about her mid 40’s s steps in._

 

  _“If you need my help never hesitate to ask Indra, it was good seeing you. Keep yourself out of trouble kid, your future is to bright to be throwing it away.”  Indra’s lawyer friend Eleanor said as she shook Lexas hand and gave Indra a parting hug as Indra thanked her and walked out the door. Eleanor had gotten Lexa off with just a warning and a fine. Lexa felt herself getting nervous at being left alone with her coach who was staring right at her with a look of disappointment._

_“You know this is going to have repercussions? I’m having a meeting with US soccer federation in about an hour. We will discuss your punishment you will be facing on the national team.  As of right now you will be suspended, you will not be going to the Algarve cup tournament.”Indra can't help the disappointment she feels to see Lexa get herself caught up on this kind of situation. She had been her coach since Lexa was on the youth national team and had formed a close relationship with the younger girl.  She knew how hard she worked to be where she was,. Lexa was something special it was evident from the moment she had first met the girl.  Indra also knew the drug test Lexa was going to go thru would come out clean, she had a good feeling she knew who the drugs belonged to.  She felt torn for Lexa, she knew how much she loved and cared for her girlfriend but she was also aware that she was dealing with the fallout of Clarke losing her father and the pressure of her career not to mention her manager._

_"I'm going to have to strip you of your captaincy for your club team.” Indra said as Lexa just nodded as she avoided making eye contact with her coach.  Lexa had just earned the captaincy armband less than a couple months ago and now it was already being stripped from her in addition to her suspension._

_“Look Lexa, club won't begin training until 2 weeks from now. Go resolve this issue, get her some help.  Don't ever let this happen again ok.”_

_“It won't happen again.” Lexa says and Indra just nods as she walks out._

 

 

_“Lexa are you not supposed to be in Europe right now? I’m happy to see you don’t get me wrong, just surprised,” Lincoln says as he opens the door to the tour bus and embraces his friend in a hug. Lexa had texted him last night asking if they were staying in New York for the night but he hadn't expected a text in the early morning as well asking the exact location of the tour bus and then half an hour later seeing his friend right in front of him with her soccer bag and suitcase when she was supposed to be in Portugal._

_“Change of plans, where’s Clarke?”_

_“Well we played last night and everyone went out to celebrate. Clarke is probably in her hotel room, we don't leave for Boston till the next hour. I’m waiting on Octavia to wake up and facetime, which is why I'm here all early.”_

_“Which hotel and room number is it?” Lexa says as she walks into the tour bus and Lincoln stretches his hands out to grab her bags._

_“It’s right across from us, just ask the front desk I'm not sure what room number she has.”_

_“Thanks Lincoln.” Lexa walks out of the bus leaving a really confused Lincoln behind. He will find out eventually but right now Lexa doesn’t feel like announcing that she has essentially been suspended from the national team.  She puts her hands in the pockets of her soccer pants and stares at the ground as she walks and thinks of how she is going to confront Clarke about the drugs found in her suitcase.  She had caught her using with Ontari before after a band practice but Clarke had insisted she had only tried them because her bandmate had them and it was tempting.  That was over a month ago, she had been sneaking them around for over a month and Lexa had believed that Clarke wasn’t using even tho Raven and Octavia had voiced their suspicions to her._

_Lexa gets to the hotel and takes a deep breath before opening the door. She see’s a younger lady at the front desk and asks for Clarke’s room number._

_“I’m sorry mam I'm not allowed to give out that kind of information.”_

_“Can you let her know that Lexa is here to see her, just call her” Lexa says frustrated. Before the receptionist has time to answer Bellamy comes out of the elevator with a duffle bag._

_“Lexa? What are you doing here?”_

_“Clarke, where is she?” Lexa says ignoring his question completely._

_“I don’t know, we went partying last night but she stayed with some people and Ontari. I knocked on her door to walk back to the tour bus together but she's not here.”  Bellamy says still eyeing Lexa a little apprehensively, he couldn't stop from wondering why she was here all of a sudden instead of with his sister in Europe._

_“Does she know you're coming?” He asks, even tho he's almost certain of the answer. Lexa just shakes her head no._

_“Lets go wait for her on the bus. Doubt she's even coming in here.” Bellamy says and she nods as they walk back towards the bus. Lexa asks Bellamy to point her towards Clarkes bed so she can lay while she waits and honestly she just wants to avoid the questions people will have for her.  She puts on her headphones as she lays on the bed just thinking as she had for the past few hours.  Maybe she had an explanation, maybe they didn't belong to Clarke. She of all people would know if Clarke was using, they lived together when they weren't working, no way she wouldn't notice. She is lost in her thoughts when about an hour later Clarke comes in, well technically she never enters, just stays by the doorway.  It doesn't take long for Lexa to notice her presence tho and she removes her headphones as she gets up and sits on the bed. She notices Clarke is still wearing the same outfit she wears to her shows, black pants, leather jacker with her leather ankle boots_

_“You’re finally here.” Lexa says not able to stop how cold her voice sounded even to herself._

_“I was out, I didn't know you were coming.” Clarke says not detecting the tone Lexa used._

_“I didn't either until a few hours ago.”_

_“I missed you,” Clarke says as she walks up to Lexa and even though she's upset with her, Lexa isn't able to deny Clarke and gets up to embrace the blonde. Clarke smells like she's been up all night partying and Lexa can’t stop the tears that escape her, the truth was staring her right in the face. She separates from Clarke after a minute and notices her eyes are glazed over.  This is a conversation she can’t escape from but arguing with Clarke over this after a night of partying(and in her case a sleepless night) just doesn't seem appealing. She grabs some of her soccer clothes and hands it to Clarke to change into and they squeeze together in Clarkes bed._

_“I don’t know why you're here but I'm happy right now.” Clarke says as she closes her eyes. Lexa smiles weakly as she strokes her girlfriends hair, for right now it' was ok to pretend everything was going to be alright._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think, thanks:)


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